


Safe In Your Arms

by knitekat



Series: Claiming [13]
Category: Primeval
Genre: Excessive Drinking, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Rape Aftermath, Suicide Attempt, breakthrough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 15:58:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1824085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knitekat/pseuds/knitekat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lester's thoughts on his suicide attempt as Jenny comforts him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe In Your Arms

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks go to Fredbassett for the beta back in 2009.

James slowly became aware of his surroundings.

He was in his front room, the sunlight streaming in through the open curtains.

He was in someone's arms. Gentle arms that held him and rocked him as a soft voice he knew spoke of everything and nothing to him.

As James recognised that voice as Jenny's, he also realised his state of undress and flushed in embarrassment.

His downcast eyes focussed on the broken bottle and the dried stain on his expensive flooring.

What the ... and then memory returned like a blow to his gut.

***

James remembered waking from the nightmare, yet again.

Seeking comfort and forgetfulness in a bottle.

Despair gripping his heart as he sat there, alone.

All alone.

When he had dropped the whiskey, he had only been wanting to save what he could.

He had to have it.

He needed it.

It was only when the glass shard had sliced into his finger that he had seen it.

James had just stared at it and couldn't help the tears that flowed down his face. He had marred its beauty with his blood, spoiled the way the light played across its surface.

He shuddered as his mind replayed his memories.

Of Leek telling him, over and over and over again, that James Lester was the problem. That only Leek could save him.

But he had killed Leek.

James' mind was so confused.

Leek was the enemy. The madman who had hurt him.

Leek was his friend. The saviour who would help him.

The clock's ticking penetrated deeper and deeper into James' mind.

The thoughts and memories whirled around faster and faster.

He needed peace.

Quiet.

The piece of glass shimmered like a rainbow in his hand.

And suddenly James knew what he had to do.

The only way he would be at peace.

All he had to do was press a little harder.

It wouldn't hurt.

And it would all be over with.

All he had to do was press a little harder.

But something had stopped him.

James knelt there wrestling with his thoughts.

Should he?

Could he?

Had he just given up?

Could he continue to fight?

All he knew was a little more pressure and it would be over.

But before he could decide, he'd heard a horrified gasp and the shard was gone.

Silent tears tracked down his face as he was rocked.

He didn't deserve to be stopped.

He didn't know if he'd wanted to be stopped.

He just didn't know.

All he could do was utter, over and over again the same two words: 'I'm sorry'.

***

And James had no idea what he had been sorry for.

For trying to end it all?

For not succeeding?

For all the pain he caused?

For all the pain he was in?

All he knew was that he felt safe in those arms.


End file.
